I was close to thirty before I learned that I was a statistic. It is believed that more than 50 million American adults were sexually abused as children. Still, this number is likely much higher given that a large number of adult survivors never report the abuse (NAASCA). While this website is about my journey from a sexually abused child raised in a highly dysfunctional home to a healthy, thriving adult woman, I also want to reach beyond that to help others. Through my many blog posts, I describe my journey from childhood to the present. The sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse I suffered contributed heavily to how I viewed life and functioned in life. Many faulty perspectives and behaviors determined negative directions for my life. I was not aware these flawed perspectives and actions existed in my life until I was in my late twenties. They were controlling my life and wreaking havoc on my relationships. As I became aware of these dysfunctional behaviors and their inflicting damage, I began the hard journey of resolving them.

At that time, I thought I would make the necessary changes to rid myself of the adverse effects within a few years. I soon learned that some of those perspectives and behaviors were so hard-wired into me that I would not quickly gain control of them. I was able to alter many attitudes and behaviors more comfortably than others.

As a child and youth, I learned unpleasant behaviors and attitudes which I carried with me into adulthood. I often knew I was behaving negatively, but I didn’t understand why or how to stop myself. As a result, I would berate myself internally because I wanted to behave better. Even after I went through counseling and understood where my negative behaviors originated from, I still battled them. Each day of my journey, I have evaluated my actions to determine where they came from and how to correct them. I know I am not alone in my battle. Paul speaks of a similar struggle in Romans 7:15, where he states, For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.

I have made significant progress, but I still have times of failure. I used to beat myself up emotionally and mentally after each of my failures but not so much anymore. God has patiently helped me see and understand His perspective each time. I have not arrived at a complete understanding, but I have made great strides, which have resulted in a more peaceful heart.

If you have suffered abuse and are now on a similar journey seeking recovery, I invite you to read my website. Please also feel free to contact me, because while I am not a trained therapist, I understand a lot because I have studied the subject during my recovery. I want every adult survivor to experience the joy and peace I now have, and while I cannot replace a trained therapist, I am very willing to converse with you and help you in any way I can.

As you join me on my journey and read what I have written, you will discover that my trials have not been confined to the abuse I endured. As an adult, I have suffered from my share of hardships. Among those trials were difficulty in becoming pregnant as well as experiencing six miscarriages. I cared for my mother, who suffered from Alzheimer’s Dementia, during the last eight years of her life.

Life is full of struggles, along with more comfortable days. I used to think struggles meant I was doing something wrong. Now I know that it is not the trials, but my response to them that indicates the outcome. My healthier perspectives on life are helping me navigate my journey in a more positive way most days.