While it is true that our past is in the past, it does define us and teach us how to live in our present. We all have a history. That is not news to anyone. For some of us, our past is filled with turmoil and pain at the hands of our parents and family while others’ parents graced their lives with love and compassion. Then there are some who find themselves in between, having experienced a little bit of both. What I have found to be important is what we choose to do with the behaviors and perspectives we learned in our past.

As an adult, I began to recognize things about myself that I simply did not like, and once I began counseling, I started to recognize the source of those many undesirable attributes. I know that no one is perfect and that everyone has things about themselves they would like to change, but those raised in a family where they were esteemed tend to have a healthier approach to making personal changes.

On the flip side, those of us raised in an abusive and critical environment tend to have many undesirable behaviors and not even realize it. We can learn a lot from history, and our personal history is no different. I have learned that if I want to change and grow into a better functioning adult, I must look back at my past to determine what has caused me to think, feel, and behave the way I do.