As a young adult in my 20s, I knew I had been hurt sexually as a child, but I had no idea how damaged I was emotionally and psychologically. It wasn’t until my early 30s that I began to learn of the damage. I knew I did things, thought things, and said some things that I didn’t like. I figured it was the sin nature in me. While the sin nature is a real thing, I simply didn’t understand aspects of my character, nor did I know how to change. Once I read about verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse and the side effects and symptoms of the different abuses I suffered, I began to see how my unwanted behaviors linked back to how I was raised. I learned that my parents and family laid my life’s poor foundations during my formative years and that my words and actions stemmed from that foundation.

With God’s help, I began to work hard to remove the destructive foundational pieces and replace them with new ones. I now have an image in my head of new puzzle pieces reflecting my new behaviors and thoughts replacing the puzzle pieces reflecting my old behaviors and thoughts. The most recent puzzle piece God has helped me slip into place is that of me, allowing myself to make mistakes and not implode on myself (self-acceptance/self-love). This image of new puzzle pieces replacing the old ones is symbolic of rebuilding my life’s foundation. At this point, I feel God has completed my new foundation, but I realize He may show me something else in the future. For now, I am at peace.

Not long ago, I told Scott that I do feel a little frustrated that this foundational rebuilding process has taken almost 30 years, but I guess replacing a life foundation can’t happen quickly. He told me I should not be frustrated. He’s right! I should, instead, be thankful!! After all, it took about the same number of years to rebuild a new foundation as what I had lived with the old foundation. My faith continues to grow as Jesus daily gives me wisdom and guidance. 

In the posts that follow, I will discuss the recovery steps I took to achieve rebuilding my life’s foundation.